so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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