You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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