Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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