mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
