last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Houston, we have a squirter
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
