But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
