Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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