4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I supernannyed him into submission
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
