I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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