I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
