do herpes really smell.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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