Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
