im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
