I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
