i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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