If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
