Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
420 ftw
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
