Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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