We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
