party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
