I murdered the dance floor call the cops
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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