im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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