Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
