OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
