Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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