dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize