Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize