Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
