But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize