In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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