Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
