I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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