thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
