u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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