I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize