haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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