dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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