so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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