you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize