Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
