Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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