you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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