just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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