there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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