Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
