guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
