you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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