so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
