K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize