singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
