Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
