Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this is an emotional support booty call
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