She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
