so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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