i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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