Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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