I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
