I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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