Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
