You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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