the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
