If that was your dad, he is hot
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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