your thong is hanging out like whoa
id be glad to
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
