i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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