His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize