That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
