Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My feet surprised me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
