I want to have your abortion
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
