Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
