How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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