"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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