my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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