I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
