You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
