He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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