I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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