what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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